Doug's Eulogy

Taken from the service held at All Saints Parish Church

Monday 9th July

My son was the most beautiful, sweet man anyone could meet. He was 27… going on 17! He loved his Mum so much and was loved back the same.

 

He came into the world in a difficult way and it was as if that followed him throughout his life. I want to tell the world about the boy and the man. At 10 years old he resolved to learn to play the guitar. Most of you know that he achieved that, and went on to do it to a fantastic level. We saw in him, a resolute determination to do what he wanted to do. To the world Mark was scatty and disorganised,… and he was! But when it came to a specific desire to achieve, he was just the opposite.

 

He never allowed me to tell people how good a son he was or sing his praises. Well, he can’t stop me now, can you, son.

 

An example of his unseen kindness was although he was often broke, he had a standing order with the NSPCC. He felt he wanted to help kids who were poor or abused and who had not had the same chances as him. He was also trying to pay off his student loan, even though he was often not working… because he felt it was the right thing to do.

 

The last few months he had got back into his music much more and had started writing a lot more. He had started to sort his life out! The nicest thing for me, after many years, was he allowed me in, to start helping him.

 

Mark could have had anything he wanted from us but he had always wanted to be grown up and independent. Life is difficult for most of us….. but for Mark it was especially so. Anne had to encourage me a lot to let him be a man. I still saw him as a lost little boy, I think that’s how I still feel.

 

He was always so grateful! We would give him something simple and inexpensive and his response was always, “Are you sure? You don’t mind? Thank you, thank you.”

 

It was like a curse that he found it so difficult to accept anything, even his rightful things. Anyone who knew him would know he would give you his last penny or cigarette.

 

He was so generous and loving, not just to his family but to friends. Foes did not come into it for Mark. As we know, nobody had a bad word to say about him.

 

Sure, we argued; sometimes vehemently! But just as two people who love each other, it blew over just as quickly. I think he was nearly always the first to say ‘sorry’ because he just hated upsetting anyone. As a father and son, he always seemed to beat me to the apology! When he went around the shops it was always, “Your Mark’s been.” His smile always seemed to bring sunshine, a positive feel into people’s lives. ….With any problem I always got “Mark said it would be alright” --- With Mark anything and everything was alright.

 

But for that the world tormented him. That phrase “only the good die young” is certainly the case for our Mark.

 

I am not a man who shows love and affection openly and I have to thank Anne who trained me many years ago how to do it for my boys. I know to-day, Andy feels just as I do.

 

Mark, we all love you so deeply, Goodbye My Son.

 

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Anne's Eulogy

Taken from the service and read by Andy McQueen

Monday 9th July

My life with Mark was full of love, tears and laughter, touched with a deep respect for each other, plus a rather mischievous and black sense of humour.

 

His father despaired of our surreal view of things, which of course we took great pleasure in playing on. Memories: Of the cigarettes we filched from each other The lighters I could never find (always in Mark’s pocket of course) The weird, funny and foreign films we watched together. The music we agreed to disagree on……… These will always be with me………….

 

He wandered around our house like a traveling minstrel playing tunes to me on his acoustic – unforgettable. I cherish the sense of joy I felt whenever he was around. He has now gone to a sunnier someplace and yet will never be gone.

 

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Andy's Eulogy

Taken from the service held at All Saints Parish Church

Monday 9th July

Much to my Dads despair and in true Mark style I didn’t start writing this till last night…

 

I left my folks at midnight with every intention off writing my notes out. However on the drive home there was a woman laying in the road. I had this dilemma “what to do now”, I have to write up the most important reading of my life and this woman is stuck in the road unconscious and helpless --- I asked myself what would mark do?

 

So I stopped the car called her family - waited for her son got them both in the car and gave them a lift home. So even now with his passing Mark is still having an effect and doing some good.

 

This is my point Mark touched all of us in a way like this - he really was selfless and would do anything for anyone, he might be late getting there to do it - - - but he would do it anyway and his intentions were always good never ever bad.

 

As for Marks other Traits that made him special. He was always so grateful, for things people did for him. This made people want do even more for him, whether it was Davina cooking him a meal for helping her move house or me for fixing his PC, or my dad buying some music equipment for his band ---- his response was always the same “are you sure” and “you don’t have to you know”— always said with that smile come surprised look. Which made you want to give and do even more for him.

 

Determination – it took me 2 years and the help of a dozen relatives to learn to ride a bike. Mark at just 4 years old took 12 hours, a grassy hill and a Raleigh budgie - he pushed himself off the top of that hill and rolled down, tumble after tumble, all day until he could ride that bike. He did the same with his music; his guitar. Me and our mum love our music but can't play and my Dad is definitely not musical, so playing any instrument wasn’t in his genes - the way he learned to play and his style all came from that same sheer determination.

 

He first picked up a guitar as a teenager. Unlike most, the guitar wasn’t a passing phase, to learn to sound like the nineties grunge bands he loved at the time. Over time the determination to play made him an accomplished guitarist, but more than that it got him to a level way beyond any book or teacher could. He had a style of his own which really was a gift for all that hard work.

 

As for our brotherly relationship, this was underestimated by some. Some may think we weren’t as close as other brothers – as we weren’t joined at the hip. But we were close in a way that was different, we never had a single superficial conversation about the weather or some other rubbish like that – we could sometimes not speak for a few days or a week and within a minute or two of talking we could be in a deep conversation about our troubles and stuff. It would take many people a few hours and few drinks to get into conversations like that.

 

Our lives recently were also a complete contrast. Me, stable Joe average, with 2 kids and a wife. Mark the intense musician with a wild socialising lifestyle. But yet for advice on life’s toughest problems we always asked each other despite the excellent group of friends we both have round us. If a problem was big and serious then we always thought of each other first.

 

I will not grieve too much for Mark as such, I know the demons he lived with – I will leave that at that. But I will say I miss him immensely. The only person who, like me, knew what it was like to be “Andy & Mark”--– he is part of me that I have lost forever and I only wish my sons could have gotten a little older to know him a little better.

 

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Thank You

A Message from the McQueen Family

 

Doug, Anne, Andrew and Lisa would like to thank all friends, family and neighbours for their kind messages of sympathy, flowers and great support during this sad time.

 

Particular thanks go to our close friends and family who rallied round and are our rocks. Special thanks to Vicar Gary Renison of All Saints, Childwall for his compassion and understanding. Thanks to Scott and Ben for their readings.

 

Personal thanks to Alan Hughes of Pearson Collinson,Funeral Directors.

 

Thank you to all who have donated to C.A.L.M.(Campaign against living miserably).

 

Specific thanks go to Warren & Andy P, for organising music, montage and web-site.

 

Thanks to all who have left tributes and photographs on the site.

 

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